you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
