I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
home. puking in laundry basket.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
