how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize