Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
