Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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