i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
