I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
