on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
