we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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