bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize