my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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