I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
