I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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