All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
