I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
