Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
