rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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