I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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