I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
