sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
