I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
