How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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