And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
