it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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