I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
