Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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