4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
