I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
