Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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