You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
