check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
