is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
