you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
