No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
