I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
