You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
