He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
