hotel room ftw
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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