Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
