he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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