Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
