cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
