Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
