i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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