Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
