i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i think i have two assholes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
