Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize