honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
