I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
True strength comes from lack of pants
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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