Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
