epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
