the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
