Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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