he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
