I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
