it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
BRING THE BAGELS
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
