marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
