FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
