but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
