I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
