I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm passing your future prison.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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