Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
