just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have already put on my inside pants.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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