I swear she didn't look like that last week.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
