So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
