I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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