puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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