love makes seman taste better
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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