The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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