oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
