So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
