for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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