We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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