i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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