i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
