She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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