How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
