KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
